Category Archives: Intimacy tips

Tip #9: Dos and Don’t To Intimacy

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 Here’s a little something to remember me by….”

Do consider having sex with your husband before he leaves on a trip and when he comes back from a trip. I suppose you could try to make it something memorable, too!   I was just talking to a friend who told me that this is advice she has received from an older married woman.  This particular woman’s husband travels quite a bit for work and he said that he won’t even stay at hotels with pay- per-view options, that’s how tempting it is.  He is blessed by her offer of intimacy whenever he leaves for a trip, as this serves as a protection for him.

Don’t assume that it’s easy being a man in this world.  We ladies do not have a clue what kind of sexual temptations men face on a daily basis. Everywhere they look they are visually bombarded by images that are quite provocative.   Be sensitive to the men of this world in our own dress, manners, and words.

(Note: Each person, male and female, has a choice.  People can still choose to sin sexually, even if the spouse has been generous with sexual intimacy.  Be able to look Jesus in the face and hear Him say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” You alone are accountable for your own actions and motives.)

-Kath

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Tip #8: Dos and Donts to Intimacy

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Honey, I’m stressed out.  Can we make love?”

Tip #8

DO use love-making with your spouse as a way to relieve stress.  If your husband is going through a particularly difficult season with work, for example, offer yourself up regularly and with passionate interest (i.e. don’t just lay there…get into it!).  As Andy Stanley says, “Make love a verb!”

DON’T use love-making as something he gets when he “earns” it from you.  Your body is not for yourself only, but for your husband’s (and vice versa.)  and only giving him intimate relations when he’s been a “good boy” is wrong thinking on your part.

I mentioned Andy Stanley…here is a great sermon he gave titled:  ”Staying in Love” for InTouch Ministry


http://www.intouch.org/broadcast/audio-archives
  (part 1)


http://www.intouch.org/broadcast/audio-archives
  (part 2)

-Kath

Read Tip #7

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Tip #7: Do’s and Dont’s to Intimacy

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Weekly Wednesday Tip

God blessed Adam and Eve, and told them to go and be fruitful and multiply (have sex and lots of it…wink!) (Genesis 1:28)  God’s first commandment to husband and wife, in a sense, was ‘have sex’.

Tip #7

Do look a little special. After a long day, we (and especially me), can be frazzled and tired and look a little shabby. I could probably win an award! (giggle). I know my husband isn’t going to mind but what if I took a little time to freshen up before he came home? What If I put the time into ‘my looks’ for him like I would for Sunday Church? Spend a little time doing yourself up for him. Treat him with a ‘look’ that you know he might like.

Don’t take a husband who likes sex for granted. I read a story awhile back (can’t remember when or where). But it talked of girl who married this Youth Pastor. She planned a big wedding and looked forward to the wedding night! They had sex that night, then left for their honeymoon and he didn’t want to have intimacy with her…Ever. He did not want sex with his wife after the first time. How would you feel if your husband never wanted to be close to you? Can you imagine the rejection? Please see your husband who likes being intimate and close to you as a blessing.

-Amy

Read Tip #6

 

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WLW

Tip #6: Do’s and Dont’s to Intimacy

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Weekly Wednesday Sex Tip

I’ve shared that sex was not my top priority for years. My heart had to be transformed; transformed from my insides out. Once God transformed my heart, then my mind did and my attitude followed. If you have a chip on your shoulder towards sex or believe things about sex that aren’t scriptural, ask God to transform your mind.

Tip #6

Do pray for good sex. It doesn’t matter if you have great sex right now or poor sex. Ask God to give you better sex. He knows how important a good sex life is.

Don’t respond to your husband’s sexual advance like it’s a burden.  If I wanted to spend one on one time with my husband and he responded, “Really?  Again?  Fine”; it would break my heart. But I have done this to my husband in the context of sex.  Don’t be this person.  See his advance as a sign that he loves you and thinks you’re beautiful.  Serve him as if you were serving your Lord in heaven.

-Amy

Read Tip #5

 

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to love honor and vacuum

Tip #5: Do’s and Dont’s to Intimacy

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Weekly Wednesday Sex Tip

I do not write on this subject because my husband and I have always had it perfect. I write to tell you my journey. All of the tips I have posted over the past five weeks have been things I have learned through scripture and experience. And I see the fruition of it.

Tip #5

Do do it a lot. Find yourself trying to beat the number of times from the week or month before. I’ve heard that couples have more sex in their first year of marriage than the rest of it combined. Don’t be that couple. God made sex too important to skip or think it’s not important. Don’t go long periods without having it. (1 Corinthians 7:4-5)

Don’t think sex means nothing. Don’t be that woman who doesn’t think it’s important. When you and your husband have sex and you are satisfied, there is a major connection that you can not find anywhere else. God did this for us! Yay! He thinks it grand enough to give it a whole book of the Bible (Song of Songs) and many many verses through out it.

-Amy

Read Tip #4

Tip #4: Do’s and Dont’s to Intimacy

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God is the Creator of Intimacy

Remember that God created sex. It is a wonderful act. Our society, through porn, adultery, abuse, and fornication; has turned a lot of women’s ideas of sex from an act of holiness into an immoral affair.

Tip #4

Do find a position that satisfies you. You both should find satisfaction and your husband wants you to enjoy yourself too so find out how. Men are usually more satisfied in intimacy if they see their wife enjoying herself. (Song Songs 1:2-4; 4:16; 7:7-9 she is intoxicating to him)

Don’t think that sex is a disgusting sin. God made it for you two to enjoy (not just procreate). If you think it is nasty or gross you need to be praying for a transformed mind. (Song of Songs 4:10, she dives him to her rather than wine; 1:2-4; she delights in his love)

-Amy

(1 out of every 4 women have been sexually abused, if this is you I am sorry. It is not to be taken lightly but I want to encourage you that there is healing to be found in Jesus. Don’t let Satan’s lies of sex infiltrate God’s truth in regards to intimacy between a husband and a wife.)

Read Tip #3

Tip #3 Do’s and Dont’s to Intimacy

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A marriage bed should be fun!

It’s Wednesday again! You know what that means. Another Tip!  The Bible is such a great ‘manual’ for Christian intimacy. It will give you great truth to how true intimacy should be. It is so precious. Don’t let Satan stir in lies. God wants you to lie with your husband. It is not evil or sinful. It is beautiful and rejuvenating. Don’t be deceived.

Tip #3

Do make sure to use a lubricant if necessary. This may seem weird or silly but too many women are uncomfortable during intercourse. If you are in pain when you’re intimate, you may not be lubricated enough. Use something or you will both walk away dissatisfied. (Song of Songs 5:5; this woman was ‘ready’ when her juices flowed). *If you are nursing you may not make enough of your own. Go buy something.

Don’t be shy. Express yourself. Your husband will appreciate this. (Song of Songs 3:4; here our Lady takes the lead. She is not timid.) Be expressive.

-Amy

Read Tip #1 click here

Read Tip #2 click here

Husbands: Sex and You

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Your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you.

Genesis 3:16

 Sex.  It’s a mysterious thing, isn’t it?  In a Christian marriage, it’s a beautiful thing.  It is symbolic of Christ and His Bride (the church), it is the union of one man and one woman, it is the act that produces godly seed, and last, but not least, it’s just plain ol’ fun!  Sex is simultaneously complex and simple.  Much like our faith.
Bottom line:  Have some good old fashioned sex with your husband tonight.  Do whatever you need to do to “get into the mood.” Maybe whisper in your man’s ear that you are going to run up to the store to pick out a special outfit for him that evening and that you need some spending money to do so.  You’ll never see a wallet whip out so fast!  Maybe take a long bath after the kids are in bed and call him up to join you.  I don’t know- you can be creative without my help, I’m sure!
Your husband loves your body.  He thinks you’re beautiful.  Don’t fall into the trap of the world and think you have to be absolutely thin, tan, and fit to be sexually desirous to your husband.  Our husband’s are not that complicated!   He longs to be intimate and enjoy a rompous roll in the sack with you.  It’s so good for you, too!  Healthy, regular, spontaneous love-making must be part of our marriages.
Obviously, if there is a medical condition prohibiting you from having sex, then by all means, abstain.  Our bodies have been made not for ourselves, but for our spouses.  There are times when we can give more sexually, and times when we are unable.

Christian marriages should be marked by a hunger and thirst for Jesus, a desire to know Him more, and to make disciples in Jesus’ name.  But, wouldn’t it be wonderful to see Christian marriages that are unified on all fronts- spiritually and sexually?  So, pray today, for unity in your marriage, on all fronts.

-Kath

Tip #2: Do’s and Dont’s to Intimacy

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Weekly Wednesday Sex Tip

We are continuing our tips on Wednesdays after Kath’s post ‘Have great sex…who me?’
There was a point in my marriage when my husband and I didn’t think sex was a big deal. We did it but one or both of us were left unfulfilled. After years (yes I said years) of praying and reading about God’s design for intimacy we changed, our fulfillment changed, and we feel rejuvenated.

Tip #2

Do wait for him in the bedroom…and why not naked? Or if he is in bed first meet him there in the same lack of garments. He will love it. Especially if you initiate it! This may even make it easier for you to get into it if you have trouble. (Song of Songs 1:13; she desires to be with him naked)

Don’t think about anything but you and your husband. Don’t be thinking about the kids or news or money or worries. Just you and him. (Song of Songs 4:16; all that is on her mind is her lover)

 -Amy

Read Tip #3

Tip #1: Do’s and Dont’s to Intimacy

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When our wedding day is done, the fun begins!

After Kath’s last post (Have Great Sex…Who Me?) we decided to start a weekly do’s and dont’s to intimacy tips from my (our) experiences. This topic is a delicate but necessary one to talk about. Please check in every Wednesday for new tips.

Tip #1

Do get naked. How will intimacy be enjoyable for both of you, if you leave your top on?? (Proverbs 5:19)

Don’t be embarrassed by your body. Show it off! A big tush or little, little breasts or big, your husband will enjoy you and your body and you will enjoy it more if you’re not trying to hide your beautiful body. (Psalm 139:14)

-Amy

(look next wednesday for more)

Read Tip #2

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